


Strange

by BrigidTheFae



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dirty Talk, Dominant Inuyasha, F/M, First Time, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mild Blood, Mildly Dubious Consent, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, borderline suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:21:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28848975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BrigidTheFae/pseuds/BrigidTheFae
Summary: There was something going on with Inuyasha. He thought that waking up one morning covered in blood would be the least of his problems. Finding a way to tell his girlfriend why he suddenly couldn't see her? Well, that was the tip of the iceberg.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/InuYasha
Comments: 98
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We have Lemonlush to thank for throwing a prompt at me when I was having a moment of creative burnout, because scratching an itch turned into - so far - eight chapters of a fic I never thought I'd write. I tried to tag accordingly as a head's up for what's to come, so no one gets blindsided by accident. (Those that read it on FFN, bless them, had best read the notes at the top of the chapters...)

His bloodied hand smeared the edge of the door as he lurched forward, grabbing the rim of the toilet seat, emptying the contents of his stomach. He hadn't eaten anything out of the ordinary but his body was rejecting everything he was putting into it lately in one way or another. If he wasn't burning his esophagus dry heaving the last of the bile after losing his meal he was silently begging the gods to let the explosive diarrhea not be the thing that killed him. No one wanted to die on the toilet anyway, but the pain he felt certainly felt like his lower half was being split open.

This had been something that had been happening for weeks now, and he still hadn't found a cause.

Something was wrong with him, he was sure of it.

But today… today was the last straw. Waking up to discover that he was covered in blood was the most terrifying thing he thought he'd ever experience. Realizing that it was _his_ blood made it worse.

Finding out that it was his _claws_ that carved into his body in his sleep was what had the previous nights' dinner coming up.

Inuyasha shuddered and gasped for breath as he weighed his decision to try to stand or wait. In the end he stood, legs shaking and sore from hitting the tile floor so hard, and he moved to lean against the sink. The dark hair that fell in his face was tangled and matted with dried blood – he must have run his hand through his hair in his sleep – he surmised. His complexion was paler than usual, but that was to be expected when one couldn't keep food down and wasn't getting as much rest as he let on. The dark circles were a brilliant shade of purple and sunken in, making the dull brown expression looking back at himself in the mirror appear more dead and lifeless.

The bloodied hands gripped the white porcelain sink, smearing what fresh blood remained across its surface as well. He knew he was going to have a lot to clean up – sheets, floor, toilet, door, sink… but he couldn't bring himself to care. It was a struggle to swallow right that second. He'd buy some heavy duty multipurpose cleaner if he didn't have any later.

Slowly, Inuyasha brought his left hand up to his view. He couldn't bring himself to look down either. One at a time. Assess the mess in small doses. He inwardly grimaced at the sticky feeling and how the dried blood pulled at his skin as he moved his fingers around, studying his hand like it was something he had never seen before.

In a way, he hadn't.

Long claws had grown overnight, pulling into a point. It almost looked like something out of the Halloween accessories section at the local drugstore each year, but more…detailed. Realistic looking, if you will. Even with the dried bits of blood cut into the grooves on his nail bed, and underneath….

His stomach lurched again when he realized what he was looking at.

That…that was _skin. His skin._

He had done that.

Inuyasha leaned forward, bracing himself against the sink with his pelvis as he fought with the soap dispenser in a hurry to wash the evidence out of his cuticles and nails. It had to go away. He couldn't stand to look anymore. The water turned rusty as the last of the horrifying image was washed down the drain. Inuyasha dried his hands, and took a deep breath before pushing off the sink to assess just _what_ he had done to himself in his sleep.

There were rips in his clothes and stains just about everywhere. How he managed to do this to himself in his sleep without waking up was amazing and terrifying. He slowly peeled off his tank and pushed the sweatpants off his hips, kicking them into a pile. There was no use trying to save those. The rips were too bad, even if he could get all the blood out. He swallowed and started the slow exploration of his now naked body, taking note of where each slash mark was.

This didn't make any sense. The amount of blood had to have meant that these cuts were more accurately gouges in his body. So…how was it possible that each mark looked like an inflamed scratch from a cat? They were dark red, slightly swollen, but the skin had…sealed?

Inuyasha shook his head, running his now clean hands through his hair, grunting when he reached a bloodied mat. Right. He needed a shower. His body was still stained with dry blood even if the cuts were fading.

It was a shaky maneuver, but once he was over the spray of the hot water, he felt he could think.

What the fuck was going on?

And what would Kagome say?


	2. Chapter 2

Kagome replied back to her boyfriend's text with the response "It's okay. We can always do something later 3" before she let her phone drop onto the bed with a sigh.

That was the second time this week that Inuyasha had texted her to cancel their date. They had first planned for it to be Tuesday night – nothing special, just dinner and a movie at her place – but he'd sent her a message that morning to tell her that he wasn't feeling well and if they could reschedule it for tonight. And he had just canceled _again_.

She'd called him up on Tuesday and asked if she could come over and take care of him, and judging from the raspy tone of his voice he really _was_ sick, but he told her to stay away. Didn't want her to catch it in case he was contagious. It was a sweet gesture, but she had gotten her vaccines. Her immune system was strong. But still – it was the pleading in his words that made her agree to stay away. She debated calling him again like she had on Tuesday to make sure she couldn't do anything, even if it was to drop off some homemade soup, but it was pointless. He would just tell her to stay home.

It was one of those things about him that she both loved and couldn't stand.

They had been friends since high school. Having lived in the same district growing up they had only ever seen each other in passing during class changes, so it wasn't until their first partner project in biology did they ever actually speak. It was an instant connection, the way they passed dry comment after dry comment at each other, and by the time they entered college it was apparent that maybe there was something more there. Or at least for her, it had been. Lots of awkward touches that lingered, trying to look at him without blatantly staring as they studied together, more awkward blushing when she _did_ get caught. It had taken a few watered down beers at their dorm's Halloween party that had given her the courage to plant a clumsy kiss on him in their final year. Which led to another clumsy kiss cause he was just as drunk as her, which led to them passing out sitting up on the couch in her dorm.

It was one of the few times she had ever been caught drooling in her sleep. Fortunately he was just as bad.

They hadn't actually started dating until after they had finished college and gotten settled in their own apartments. Between the last months of school and transitioning from dorm back to family home then to their own place there wasn't much time or energy to do more than hold hands or steal a kiss. That had been a few months ago, when they had become "official", and they had only ever gone on a handful of dates.

It was…odd.

For as long as they've been together, Kagome was certain that they should have progressed further than they actually had. Hell, her friends' relationships at this point had already gone to bed together – frequently. The most she could get out of Inuyasha was awkward groping. If he so much as brushed her breasts with his thumb he apologized like he thought she was going to be mad.

Mad? Hell no! She _wanted_ him to touch her dammit!

She knew good and well he didn't favor men, but the way he was so timid when it came to touching her…she was starting to wonder if he was against the idea of women too.

Or was it just her?

She couldn't recall him talking about any other relationships since they had become friends. She knew he had gone on a couple dates in early college – that had been a gut punch the first time he'd told her – but she had no idea if he had ever had sex before. She hadn't – well, that wasn't _entirely_ true. She hadn't gone that far with anyone, but she had discovered some things she liked on her own. Things she was curious to try with Inuyasha, if he'd let her.

Could that have been the cause of his skittishness? Was it that he was afraid of ruining their friendship?

Kagome couldn't understand why. She thought they were on the same page. He always asked her if she was comfortable with anything he did, and she never disagreed. She _wanted_ more. Dear god ever did she want more from him. It wasn't hard to see why either. Thick black hair that fell around his shoulders that she could run her hands through all day. Dark brown eyes that drew her in. A muscled frame that wasn't skinny or overly bulky that gave the best hugs, even if they were few and far between. A strong jawline that she just wanted to bite…

She let out a muffled cry of frustration as she threw her face into her pillow and screamed. It wasn't fair! Even with a five o'clock shadow he still looked hot as hell, but could she touch? Could she guide his stubbled chin to tickle her where she really wanted him to touch her? No! They hadn't gotten that far because of his nervousness. That wasn't to say that she was confident, oh no she was just as nervous, but she wanted to _try_. It was like Inuyasha was taking a step back for each she took forward.

Maybe…maybe she _was_ being too forward?

It's not like she had reached out and palmed him through his jeans though! Not that she hadn't _thought_ about that. It would send him through the roof, most likely.

All she had done was guide his hands. Grab them and hold them to her body when he started to pull away. She thought that was helping him see that she was encouraging his touch. Her murmurs of it being okay hadn't seemed to do the trick. But maybe…maybe it was too sudden to go there just yet for him. Maybe he wanted to work his way up to touching her there. She had no complaints when he ran his hands along her hips, gripping them gently, almost like he was going to throw her down on the couch and –

Kagome let out another groan, chucking the pillow across the bedroom. This fucking sucked. She couldn't even mull over _why_ Inuyasha was the way he was without getting horny! It didn't help that she had caught multiple glimpses of toned abs in the past, so it wasn't hard to imagine him shirtless. The rest…may the gods help her if she _ever_ got to see him naked. She sat up begrudgingly, reaching for the drawer pull on her nightstand.

If Inuyasha was going to cancel their date and not want her presence, she was going to have to let her imagination run wild.

Again.

Not like she wasn't already after date nights anyway, but at least then she had some build up so the payoff was quick and satisfying like a microwave dinner. It wasn't what she wanted but it'd have to do until she could have the real thing.

But tonight? Tonight she was going to take her time. Build a fantasy where he was wildly dominant and ordered her around, full of gentle touches, dirty words, and the intense fucking to back them up. It'd probably never happen but it was nice to dream.


	3. Chapter 3

He couldn't keep doing this. Avoiding Kagome was on its way to becoming an Olympic sport. It had been a solid month since he had last seen her face in person and it was eating away at him. They had talked on the phone, sent texts, she had even sent him some pics of her a few times as an attempt to make him "feel better".

Physically he was feeling fine now. Kinda. In a manner of speaking. But his heart… his heart was breaking.

He could only get away with the guise of being unwell for so long, so he had to start coming up with new excuses. Work kept him busy – even though it was a remote position most of the work week – he could bide his time a little more by saying that the office had called him in to go over some reports he had completed in person. Clarify things. The trick was he had to do it so that she wouldn't suspect that something was off. Work couldn't be the excuse every time. So he said that his mother needed him to come over and fix some things around the house. Being a single mother with no other children she relied on Inuyasha to help her with small tasks. Build a bookshelf. Replace that leaky pipe under the kitchen sink. Maintain the yard each Saturday. Help with the boatload of groceries that she always seemed to buy. Tutor the ginger haired boy that lived next door to her because he was a darling and needed help with history.

It got to be so frequent that he started keeping a running list of reasons he had used next to where he kept his phone. On the next page of that notebook was a list of potential reasons that he could pull from. It was horrible and he felt horrible doing it but, he really needed to understand what was going on with him before he let Kagome in on….whatever this was.

The claws… no matter how many times he clipped or filed them down, they grew back within hours. It was maddening and if it wouldn't hurt like a bitch he had considered ripping them from the root to test the amount of time it took to regrow.

But that wasn't the only change he was dealing with. Aside from the gouges he had done to himself in his sleep a month prior, _any_ injury to his person was healing at a rapid speed. He cut the palm of his hand slicing onions and watched as the skin stitched itself back together. His vision was sharper, hearing picked up the minute details, and his nose…he wasn't sure how to describe it, but it wasn't natural.

Wasn't human.

He could hear the sounds of the tenants two floors above his when they got explicitly loud during sex, for example. Could smell what the lady in 60B was cooking for supper and _knew_ the moment that she added too much rosemary before he heard her cuss her luck.

His endurance… well, that was about the _one_ thing he didn't have complaints about.

Inuyasha had always been good at sports. He worked hard, built his strength up over the years and felt pretty decent about his physical shape. But now he was able to run up the flights of stairs to his apartment without being out of breath. He didn't feel like he needed to sleep as much as he really did. And when he was… well… when he had to take matters into his own hands… to say he had been shocked when he found that he could rub out a second one so soon after the first was an understatement. It still took some effort but still.

That wasn't normal.

Which was precisely why Inuyasha sat on his couch, staring at his phone dejectedly after ending the latest call with Kagome. He couldn't tell her about this, not until he knew himself what the hell was going on. He couldn't bring that to her doorstep. Even if she didn't mind the new changes…the idea of being intimate now was terrifying to him.

He could hurt her.

_You won't hurt her._

"What the fuck..?"

_You won't hurt her._

Inuyasha sat up and looked around his apartment. He knew he was alone but that voice…sounded like it was…right next to him… "The hell is going on?"

_You should tell her._

"Who the fuck are you?"

_I am you._

" _Where_ the fuck are you?!" His body went tense, like arms were circling his shoulders from behind, though he knew that there was no one physically in the room with him.

_I am in your mind. I am you, and I am telling you that you need to tell Kagome._


	4. Chapter 4

Two months.

Two. Fucking. Months.

Kagome was past being upset for the most part.

Now she was getting _pissed_.

Inuyasha had _yet again_ brushed her off. All she had wanted to do was come over and sit with him, watch a movie. Maybe they could play cards. She just wanted to spend time with him, to be face to face for once when they talked, maybe get a damn hug at least. She wasn't expecting him to strip and give her what she wanted – that would have been _nice_ but at this point she only wanted his company. Whatever reason he really had for avoiding her this long was making her suspicious in the worst way.

Which is how she found herself dialing a number that she hadn't expected to call one Saturday morning after breakfast. It wasn't that she never called this person, but it didn't feel like it was something that she felt was worth bringing them into. For all she knew the excuses could all have been legitimate and valid, but the longer they kept stacking up the more inclined she was to believe that there was something else going on.

If anyone would know, or at least could assure her fears, it was this person. They knew Inuyasha better than anyone else, so surely they must know what was going on.

* * *

Inuyasha rolled over and groaned as his phone rang incessantly on the bedside table. His stomach twisted, knowing that it was probably Kagome calling again. His notebook was already low on blank paper when he started that list and he was running out of excuses quick. He rolled over and squinted at the clock. It was late for him, 8:34. Normally he woke up at 7 but…with the weird way his body has been behaving lately, the bursts of energy were leaving him drained when they burned out, like the night before.

The phone continued to bleat at him, reminding him that he couldn't keep avoiding it. Inuyasha sighed as he reached out and grabbed the phone, dragging his thumb across the device screen to answer the call. Might as well start the day out shitty.

"Hello?"

The voice was female, but it wasn't Kagome.

"You mind telling me why your girlfriend is calling me up in tears, boy? Are you sleeping around on her?"

It was his mother.

Shit.

"What?!" He shrieked, sitting up in bed quickly. "M-Mother! What –"

Izayoi was not a woman to be trifled with. Inuyasha knew this. She was a spitfire of a woman that could swap barbs with the best of them and do it in such a way that came off as a compliment. She could also drop the sweet act entirely and become so lethal that even youkai backed up from her ire. It was that side of his mother he tried to avoid at all costs, but somehow he had stepped into it with both feet.

"Kagome called me," she said. "Asked me if you were over here this weekend because _apparently_ you've been canceling every date and hangout that has been planned for the last two months."

Inuyasha scrambled to his feet and nearly tripped over the blankets he'd tossed to the floor. His bladder had decided that _now_ was the time to remind him that it needed to be emptied, but he also couldn't just…hang up on his own mother. From the tone she had now, that would be three times as bad. Maybe he could…pee quietly? He gripped the phone tighter to his ear as he got his balance, kicking the covers away in irritation at his girlfriend.

Why did Kagome go to his _mother_?

And why did it sound like his ears were stuffed with cotton? The phone was _right next to it_ …

He tried not to sigh as his mother proceeded to recount the whole spiel that Kagome had told her. How she had sounded so mad at the start of the call, and by the end she was in tears, wondering what it was that she had done to make Inuyasha go out of his way to avoid her. "I'm not avoiding her, Mother!" he blurted out at last. "I told you I've had things going on!"

"Yes, and you also told me that it was _Kagome_ that was canceling plans. Now what is the truth, Inuyasha? Is there another girl that you're seeing on the side?"

"There is no one else!"

"Kagome seems to think differently," Izayoi stated.

"I swear on my grandparent's graves that there is no one else," Inuyasha all but growled. He was getting real tired of his loyalty being challenged. "You and Kagome need to have more faith in me, Mother."

He heard a sigh. Oh fuck. A sigh was never good. This was the kind of sigh that said that he was gonna get it. "I know that, Inuyasha. You should give _me_ more credit. I am your _mother_ after all. It's Kagome that you need to prove your loyalty to, and if that means that you don't come over until you've convinced her then so be it."

Inuyasha had just made it to the bathroom doorway when he said, "But you said you needed that closet refitted in the laundry room this weekend!"

"I'll do without it."

"Mother…"

"Don't 'Mother' me in that tone, boy," she warned. "Kagome is a sweet girl and I think of her as a daughter. I love you dear but you need to fix this. Some shelves and organization for linens can wait in the meantime, and if I'd have known sooner about this maybe things would have been fixed already!"

He winced, feeling his ears fall back at being reprimanded.

What…the fuck…

Izayoi was continuing to ramble about how they should have already been engaged and making wedding plans, but Inuyasha's rush to the bathroom mirror was his sole focus. Something was not right when he could feel his ears _move_ , because he had _never_ been able to wiggle them as a kid. This wasn't forced. It had felt…instinctual.

Oh god.

He swallowed the stomach acid that was trying to come up as he looked at himself. His mother was still talking, but he couldn't hear a word of it.

"M-mother?" he whispered, "I need help."

* * *

Getting across town to his mother's house was an experience, even with having his own car. Each time he had to stop at an intersection he was terrified that someone could see. It didn't matter that they were strangers. It didn't matter that he'd probably never cross paths with these people again. He was paranoid.

Fortunately his mother was waiting at the door for him when he pulled into her driveway, holding the door open. She didn't comment on their phone call as he stepped inside, or about how he should really be going to Kagome's place to fix this mess. She did, however, comment on his state of dress. For such warm weather she couldn't fathom why he had all of his hair tucked up under a knitted cap or why he was wearing his sunglasses and work gloves in the house. She led him to the kitchen and had him sit down while she fetched them coffee.

Inuyasha didn't say a word, only pulled off the gloves and set them on the table, trying to conceal the pointed claws for as long as possible. When his mother placed a mug before him and sat down in the chair closest to his, only then did he remove the hat and sunglasses. The gasp he heard did not inspire confidence in that she could help, but he didn't know where else to turn.

"Oh sweetheart…"

"Mother," he whispered, "What's wrong with me?"

The black hair that he had been accustomed to was now silvery white. His ears – as he suspected, there was something off – were now fuzzy and triangle-shaped, perched within the white mane. His eyes, once a chestnut brown were amber. His tongue continued to flick over the overly-pointed canines that had taken shape out of worry. Not unlike how as a kid when he lost a tooth he'd worry the empty space for days on end because he couldn't focus on anything else.

Izayoi reached out and took his larger hand in both of hers, unfolding his fingers to see the clawed tips. She didn't appear to be frightened as she tested their points, and he was thankful for that. What bothered him was the apologetic look that she was giving him. "I'm so sorry Inuyasha," she said softly. "If I had had _any_ idea, I would have told you years ago."

"You know what this is?" he asked with hope. If she could explain, he didn't give a damn that she didn't say anything sooner. He just wanted answers.

She nodded. "You are a hanyou, Inuyasha. Your father is a fully-fledged inu youkai."

He knew of his father. Touga was his name. Could vaguely remember the man coming around from time to time when he was a kid, taking him to get Happy Meals and spending time with him. And it gradually became memories. He had to leave for long periods of time, and as Inuyasha got older he stopped seeing the man altogether. He'd still get messages and cards on his birthday, but from his perspective, Touga had written him out of his life. He wasn't important enough to reach out to. So, he stopped giving a damn. The memories were bittersweet now, and he still wondered what it was that he had done that made his father stop caring.

"I truly didn't think that it was possible," Izayoi explained. "Your father and I… well, you know that story…"

Longtime friends that became friends with benefits which later became an on-and-off couple having a child out of wedlock. And somehow they _still_ loved each other after all these years. Touga had married and divorced another woman, and supposedly he had a half brother somewhere in the world from that.

"We didn't know that the concealment wouldn't prevent…" she waved her hand about as she searched for the right word, "…the…traits, if you will. We were both young and the concealment charms were still new, and we thought that it would keep…"

" _This_ from happening?" Inuyasha asked dryly. "What concealment? You mean to tell me that my father has been _disguising_ himself from you all this time?"

"No! No, of course not! I know what he looks like in his youkai form. It was something he showed me early on when we were getting to know each other – not that way, Inuyasha! I meant as _friends_! When the concealments became more popular he asked me for my help in choosing his look. In time, as we grew to love each other, we wanted more. Even if we couldn't be together at the time, we still wanted a family. I know that it was pretty selfish on our parts, having you and not giving you the full family you deserved…"

"You and the old man did what you thought was right." He couldn't fault his mother for that. She did her best raising him, made sure he knew he was always loved. It wasn't her fault that the timing sucked. "So is that why he started staying away, the older I got? Did he suspect that this would happen?"

"We…didn't realize it _could_. When you reached puberty, I was worried, but Touga said that for youkai it wouldn't happen until later. It slipped my mind as you got older, and because he's been traveling and dealing with the divorce to Kimi I didn't want to bother him to ask as a precaution. He never told me _when_ it could happen if it did, and studies around the charms hadn't taken that into account until recently…"

"Okay, but _what_ is it that's happening to me Mother?"

Izayoi sighed. "You're transitioning to a hanyou. It's like a second puberty, in a way. The youkai within you is awakening, and your body is changing to accommodate it."


	5. Chapter 5

For the next two weeks, Inuyasha continued the same spiraling pattern. Staying confined to his apartment and only leaving the house except for absolutely necessary. The only phone calls he was answering outside of work were restricted to his mother's, who was checking in every few days to see how he was faring. Which meant the conversations started out with a "How are you", asking if he was eating properly, was he getting enough rest, and had he spoken to Kagome.

Every. Damn. Call.

Izayoi had finally managed to get him to text her back at least, because she deserved _some_ kind of response. That first text had been nerve-wracking, seeing as how he hadn't spoken to her in months, so he wasn't sure how she would take it to get a text from him for once wanting to initiate a conversation.

Kagome hadn't hesitated. She had texted him back minutes later and said that she was happy to hear from him. Inuyasha's chest had felt a pang when he had gotten notified, but reading the words he felt both better and ashamed of himself. His mother had been right, as usual. Kagome didn't deserve this kind of treatment. He apologized for not being available. It didn't sit well that he was _still_ lying to her by saying that he couldn't talk because he had messed his throat up, but she hadn't objected. Her text telling him that she understood, that she hoped he felt better, and just hearing from him by text was enough.

It wasn't enough, and he knew it. He knew she knew it. How could he even begin to broach the subject of what he was becoming with her when he could barely stand the voice of the youkai in his head?

A youkai that _never_ shut up. Always running his mouth for some reason. Had to comment on _everything_ he could see through Inuyasha's eyes or what he did during the day. Cooking? Why cook when you can eat it raw? Showering washed all the natural scent away. What was with going to bed all the damn time, anyway? That was something humans did, and he wasn't human entirely so he could skip a night or four.

Texting Kagome had been interesting when the youkai began to take notice. It hadn't been commented on at first, because it was sporadic, but the more they texted each night it became something of a habit for the youkai to sit back in the recesses of his mind and watch. It wasn't until one night when Inuyasha was toweling off from a shower that the youkai brought it up for the first time.

_Why do you not speak to her verbally? You write to her each night._

"Because…I don't know how to explain this." Inuyasha slung the towel over the rack to dry and stood before the mirror, looking at his reflection. How the hell did he _begin_ to explain to Kagome what happened? His hair had changed colors, his nails were longer and stronger, and his _ears_ – "It's not really something I can say over the phone."

_Then go to her. Or better yet, let her come here. She's said she wants to._

"And let her see me? So I can see the disappointment and horror in her eyes when she looks at me? All so she can tell me to my face that it's over?"

He could actually hear the youkai sighing. _Call on her tonight. Don't write as you've been doing._

"Not gonna." Inuyasha grabbed for his boxers and stepped into them, jerking them up around his hips. He had a plan. He was going to get a drink, get his phone, and retire to bed and text with his girlfriend until she fell asleep. Just as he had been through the week.

He had fetched both and was settling against the headboard when he felt his thumb reach across the screen and search the contacts for Kagome's name, hitting the call button instead of message. "Fuck!" he hissed, hearing his heartbeat in his ears as the phone rang. What did he do? Did he hang up? If he hung up she'd know that he called anyway but –

"Hello?"

"K-Kagome…" Hearing her voice sound so soft on the other end had his heart picking up for an entirely different reason.

"Inuyasha," she let out a sigh of contentment. "How are you? Is your throat okay to talk? Or did you want to go back to texting?"

"No!" He blurted out suddenly. Where had that come from? Logic said that he should have hung up, but… he wanted to hear her voice, and now that she was talking, he didn't want her to stop. "No, I… I want to talk to you, Kagome. My voice is getting better. Been busy with work, so a lot of the usual. How…have you been?"

"I've been alright. I've missed you. A lot."

"I've missed you too," he said, meaning ever word. "I'm sorry I haven't been able to see you."

The words "Don't be" felt like a punch to his chest. "Inuyasha, I'm sorry. I know that not every time has been work. I figured it was probably me being too forward that was the reason."

Inuyasha sat up straighter. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Inu. I've been trying too hard… I shouldn't have pushed you into moving forward. All those times I held your hands against me when you started to pull away…"

Was she suggesting that he didn't want..? "You've got it wrong, Kagome! I should be the one apologizing for that! It's not you at all! It's…it's me." Fuck this was not how he wanted to have this conversation but he couldn't leave it here and let her think it was her doing. "I'm…nervous. I haven't really had a lot of experience, so…"

"Oh!" she sounded relieved on the other end. "I haven't either, or at least not with another person…" she added shyly.

"Yeah?" he swallowed. That should _not_ have sent ideas through his head, but it was too late. Already he could feel the blood rushing south at the thought of his girlfriend pleasing herself in her bed late at night.

_I like her voice. I'd really like to hear it scream our name._

Inuyasha couldn't deny that he wanted to hear that too as he reached down with his free hand to adjust the hardness in his boxers. Just his luck that he was popping a boner at the worst possible time and he couldn't take care of it.

Kagome's voice seemed to falter, as though she realized what she had just admitted to doing. "Well, I mean… a girl does have needs – not that I'm saying that I'm blaming you or anything! What I mean is –"

"I do it too."

_Nice._ The youkai in his mind was practically grinning.

Inuyasha wanted to disappear. _Why_ had he said that? Of all the things he could have said to ease her mind, him outing himself was the best choice?

"You do?" As embarrassed as he was, at least her voice was calmer now. She didn't sound like she wanted to run for the hills, but what she asked next made him want to. "Do you… when you do… do you think about…"

Without hearing the rest of that question he knew. She wanted to know if he thought of her as he got off, and the truth was – hell fucking _yes_ he did! Kagome was the _only_ one he had ever had fantasies about, even when they were still just friends. Though if he were being really honest with himself the thoughts probably started back before they had even talked. Those pretty eyes he'd see across the hall, passing her by the lockers and he could smell the floral scent that was uniquely her…no, it wasn't hard to start conjuring up fantasies just from the vision alone. But when he had gotten to really know her is when they became so much more real.

And therein lay his issue. It was becoming _real_. There was something between them, and they both wanted more from it. Knowing that was both a balm to his heart but also the catalyst for his anxiety. Kagome meant the world to him, and he couldn't bear to hurt her. He might not have had much experience but when the time came he wanted to be able to please her, give her everything she wanted. Which, from the way that Kagome had acted recently, she knew what she wanted. Could he deliver? Could he be the one to make her satisfied, or would she see that he lacked confidence and leave him for a man that could?

On the other hand, there was this taboo urge simmering under the surface that clawed its way up whenever he let his imagination run wild. A darker version of him that took what he wanted and gave back even harder. Dominating, aggressive…and it's only desire was the woman fumbling over her words on the phone.

He couldn't tap into that side though. Couldn't let Kagome know those thoughts existed. It would scare her away. That would send her running far away from him. It would be too much to hope for that she would be interested in that.

"I think about you every time," he said at last, hearing a soft gasp. He wasn't sure why, but that reaction sounded like she was surprised. Did she think he thought of other women? Now he had to know. "Who do you think about?" he teased, thinking she'd list off some current celebrity hotshot.

Nothing prepared him for the words "I think about you too. Every time."

A groan escaped him before he could stop it. "Fuck Kagome, do you have any idea what that does to me?"

"I can only imagine," she giggled from her end. "Is it good things?"

"Very good things," his voice came out in a purr. "You've got me practically _throbbing_ Ka-Go-Me. I can barely keep from poking out of the waistband of my boxers." If it wasn't for his exceptional hearing he might not have picked up the shuddered breath she let out, like she was holding the phone away. "What are we going to do about that?"

"W-we?" she squeaked.

_Yes we_ , the youkai within him grinned. _We want to know what you would do._

Inuyasha had said those very words without realizing that he was channeling the youkai's desires too. "I want to hear what you would do. You can tell me; it's just us."

A small whimper had passed through her lips, and Inuyasha took that to mean that she was wanting to indulge her curiosities too. "Are you only wearing boxers?"

"Dark red ones, and they're getting tighter by the second. What are you wearing?" Might as well talk her into it slowly, if he had any hope of getting off tonight. It hadn't been his intent tonight, but since she had presented him with that crumb of a thought he wanted to explore it. Get an idea of what she liked before he was in the same room as her, so that one day when he had the balls to go balls deep he wouldn't feel like a failure to her.

"Mm," she hummed, "I'm….actually just wearing my silk nightrobe. I was thinking about sleeping in the nude tonight."

The urge to grasp himself in his free hand and start jerking was getting harder to ignore. "You're awful, Kagome. Going and getting me hard like this when I can't even see you. I couldn't even stand up to make it to the door, you've got my cock so hard."

"Then take it out," she coaxed. "If you're that hard you need to take care of it."

"You did this to me woman. This is all on you."

_It would be all on her if we could spill it all over her,_ the youkai reminded him. Inuyasha was doing his best to ignore the youkai whispering just what all could be done if they were together in his bed. That would have to wait. He had too many hurdles to jump through first.

"Then let me fix it," Kagome replied. "Be a good boy and lean back, and I'll make you feel good."

Inuyasha shoved his boxers down, freeing his cock to spring up against his abdomen. His free hand wrapped around the base and squeezed, trying to stave off the desire to pump himself until he fell limp against the bed. "If you had any idea of what I'm looking down at, you wouldn't call me a boy. What I've got in my hand Ka-Go-Me…this is all man."

"I bet it is," she giggled. "Is it very big?"

"It's impressive even when it's not throbbing at the thought of you. You'd need both hands to handle all this."

"Oh," she sighed. "In that case, then think of me reaching out and exploring every inch. Each little dip…tracing my fingers down the length…tracing the head… I bet you're swollen and tender, aren't you?"

"Very," he breathed, letting his hand move in slow strokes as she talked.

"Are you dripping?"

Inuyasha bit down on his lip as his hips bucked. "What do you think?" he asked, before holding the phone down so it could pick up the sounds of his hand spreading the precum along his shaft. He could hear her response and it pleased him that it was having an effect on her. "Your turn, baby doll. Tell me what I can do for you."

"M-me?"

"You think I was going to let you have all the fun? I wanna make you feel good too, so tell me. How do you want me to make you come?"

Where the hell had this confidence come from?! Was it because he couldn't see her face? Knowing that she was unable to see his? Was it because this was new territory for them? Inuyasha decided in that moment that he really didn't give a damn. Kagome was on the other end making some delicious sounds that were going straight to his cock and he wanted to hear her make more.

"I… um… I…"

"You can tell me. Whatever it is, I won't think differently of you." He meant it. If she was willing to get off through a phone call he wasn't going to judge. It was probably something miniscule anyway. That maybe she wanted him to whisper something sensual to her.

"I want you to…use my dildo on me while you stroke yourself."

Inuyasha choked. "D-dildo?" came out a bit higher than was normal. His sweet, innocent Kagome had a…a…

"Uh huh," she said shyly. "It's made of glass, and has these… uh…it's _textured_ with bumps and veins along it…"

He still couldn't get past the word "dildo", so hearing the words "glass" and "textured" follow it made him rethink this whole thing. Part of him wanted to ask how big it was, how thick it was, but from past experience looking at porn on the internet it was better to _not_ ask. He hadn't been kidding when he said he was impressive flaccid, but if he couldn't compete with her _toy…_

_Tell her…_ the youkai must have been able to sense the change in his thoughts, because now it was feeding him what to say, and Inuyasha was in just the mood to accept that help. "Does it feel cool against your skin when you drag it across your body? Does it make your nipples hard when you're brushing it against your breasts? Do that and tell me baby doll."

The stifled gasp told him she had played along, just as his hand continued to stroke his shaft. He had to keep the pace slow because he wasn't about to spill just yet and ruin the fun. "It…it does," she swallowed.

"Good girl," he purred, letting himself sink into that fantasy where he was confident and dominant. The startled "oh" that he heard pleased him immensely. "You like that?"

"Like what?"

"When I call you a good girl?"

"I…I do…"

Inuyasha shuddered as his thumb rolled over the head of his cock, letting his head fall back against the stack of pillows. Fuck that felt good, and if it were Kagome's hands it'd be even better. "I need you where I'm at, Kagome. Take that dildo and rub it between your thighs. Get it good and coated in your slick."

Kagome let out a small moan, and he could almost envision her naked body laying back on her bed, teasing herself with what he felt like was a huge dildo. "I-Inu…"

"Yes baby doll? What can I do now?" he grunted when his hips shot up again. The slow strokes weren't staving off the need to buck into his hand like a jackhammer. He had to speed this up.

"I…I need…I need more, Inu…"

"Do you now?" His lips quirked up in a smirk. "Are you wet for me, Kagome? Are you ready for me to plunge that dildo deep in your pussy?"

She gasped out a "Yes, please!" and if he hadn't been edging himself this whole time he would have been in trouble.

"Then spread those legs and take it all," he growled, squeezing himself again. "I'm not about to come until you do."

On the other end of the phone he could hear the sighs as she pushed the toy inside her, and fuck if he didn't wish that he could see it. The sight she must have presented, laying back in her bed, silk robe spread open – much like her legs should have been, pushing that toy in herself over and over…fuck! He needed her!

"Listen to me, baby doll," he bit out, "I want you to fuck yourself with that dildo as fast as you can. I'm about to come all over myself waiting for you. I need you to think of my hand pounding away at my cock and pretend that it's pounding away at you instead. Hard, fast, and so good. Think of how I'm going to fill you to the brim with my seed."

Kagome's voice sounded distant as she let out a strangled gasp, and he vaguely realized that she had set the phone down next to her. Why had she… _oh._ Oh _yes_. She had to use both hands, and that thought had him groaning. Was she using both to pump that dildo in herself? Was she touching her breasts? Cupping herself? Feeling it slide in and out frantically and dreaming that it was his cock instead?

"Fuck…" he panted. His hand was moving erratically not and he had to set his phone down as well, reaching down to roll his sack in his palm. The only sounds in the room he could hear were his grunts and the squelching of his hand coating his cock in his own precum, and the faint gasps and moans of his name from Kagome's end.

"I-Inu…oh gods, I'm…so close..!"

"Me too..."

"Oh Inuyasha…yes!"

"That's my girl," he tried to focus. She was getting close. "You're doing so good, Kagome… don't hold back. Let me hear you…"

The sound of her yelling his name was beautiful. Inuyasha could just see it – head thrown back, body tense, as that dildo continued to draw out her orgasm. It was just the image he needed to let himself go as well, hips bucking into his hand as thick ropes of his seed splattered across his stomach and thighs. He didn't release his hold on his cock until he had pulled every last drop, letting his hand fall limply to his side.

"Kagome?" he asked, picking up the phone when he could catch his breath. "You still there?"

"I… am…" she breathed. "Oh, Inuyasha… that was…"

"Good?"

" _So_ good."

As exhausted as he was, he still felt smug. "It was," he agreed. "Maybe we can do that again sometime." No sooner had the words left his lips did he realize what he had said. Would she want that?

"That would be nice," she replied. "Maybe…maybe sometime we could meet up…"

Inuyasha froze. Could he do that? That would mean that he have to tell her the truth… but after what they had just done, why _couldn't_ he? It took a level of trust to do what they had done, and he really did owe her an explanation. "I…"

"Inuyasha, you don't have to –" Kagome started to speak, and it sounded like she was backtracking.

"I want that," he cut her off. "Believe me, Kagome. I want that more than anything, but…I might need time…"

"That's okay," she said, her voice coming out relieved. "I don't mind waiting. I just…needed to know that there was a chance, is all. I love you, Inuyasha."

That wasn't the first time she had said those words, but each time it felt like the first to him. "I love you too," he replied. "I've got stuff I have to work out, but never forget that Kagome."

It wasn't long after that Inuyasha was bidding Kagome goodnight, both of them having to clean themselves before they could sleep. He managed to make it to the bathroom on shaky legs to wipe himself clean of the evidence before returning with a damp rag to swipe at the couple spots on the sheet. Tomorrow was a laundry day anyway; he'd wash covers then.

As he threw himself back onto the bed and let the tiredness consume him, the youkai within his mind lingered, very much awake. This was progress, but it wasn't good enough for his tastes. This woman that his host was in love with, she was it for them. That much was obvious. Why he couldn't accept that and just _go to her_ was beyond his understanding. They had skirted around this issue for some time, and the youkai knew why Inuyasha hesitated. Hearing Kagome cry out his name like a mantra should have proved to his host that there was nothing to fear. She would be accepting of the truth, she _had_ to be.

_It is just as well that I gave him a push tonight._


	6. Chapter 6

The following morning, Kagome could only stare into her coffee mug in a daze as she mentally recounted what happened the night before. What had come over her to say those things? To admit to Inuyasha that she touched herself, and not only that, but also _admitting_ to him that _he_ was who she fantasized about?

And what about Inuyasha for that matter? In all the years that she had known him, she had _never_ heard him speak like that before. It was shocking. It should have disgusted her. It…was a turn on she never realized she had. The feminist in her would be appalled at being called a "good girl" in such a way, but the horny part of her had all but quivered in delight. It had to be because it was Inuyasha that had said it, because she couldn't envision having that same reaction if any other man had told her.

She wasn't sure what had started that string of events anyway, but…she wouldn't be against doing that again with him. Provided that Inuyasha would want to, of course. Despite what he told her, she still felt like she was to blame for his excuses. She still thought that her attempts to get him to engage more was what was pushing him away. Although, if what happened last night was what it would take to bridge that gap, then she'd happily agree to it.

Whatever it took, she was willing to try. She couldn't lose him.

* * *

"What the fuck was I thinking last night?!"

_You were thinking like any red blooded hanyou –_

"I've had it up to _here_ with you!" Inuyasha snarled as he yanked the bed linens so hard that the mattress lifted up with the force. The youkai had been incessant about wanting to call Kagome again ever since he had woken up. It was early in the morning! She had things she needed to do and was probably doing. It was not the time to call her up with the suggestion of each of them beating it at eight in the morning! The youkai did not see it that way, and sought to remind him of each little detail he said to her last night as some kind of sick incentive to pick the phone up.

_You were not complaining last night –_

"That's cause I was clearly out of my damn mind last night!" Inuyasha's face felt hot to the touch, and he just knew that if he looked in the mirror he'd be bright red. He didn't need a reminder from the youkai about the things he said to Kagome the night before. Oh no, that _all_ came crashing back as he had his morning pee, slamming to the forefront of his mind so quickly it made him dizzy.

It didn't help that the youkai was practically _crowing_ about it either.

Inuyasha wanted to disappear. Crawl under a rock, let the ground consume him, and be free of ever having to face Kagome again and having to explain what came over him last night.

_You could thank me. After all, who was it that gave you that nudge to explore your fantasies?_

He had made it to the clothes hamper with the balled up linens when he froze. "You?" he whispered. "You did this? You made me tell Kagome those things?" His voice was steadily getting higher and he was seconds away from yelling.

_I did no such thing,_ the youkai countered. _I simply gave you the confidence to act on your desires last night. If I had not stepped in and given you that push, you would still be writing to her on that device of yours, moaning about how you want to see her –_

"Yeah, and look at what your meddling probably did! I could have just as easily lost my girlfriend, you bastard!" Inuyasha threw the linens in the hamper and tried to hold in his anger, lest he throw the hamper against the opposite wall. He was furious with the youkai. What right did this – this conscious thought – have to dictate how he functioned? What right did he –

The phone buzzing from the bedroom filled him with dread, killing any previous thoughts. There were only two people who had the gumption to call or message him so early in the morning, and he wasn't sure how he could approach either right then. He wasn't in the frame of mind to speak to his mother, because he couldn't trust that he wouldn't blurt out that he had phone sex with Kagome last night if she were to ask how they were doing. And Kagome…he didn't know how to approach her _because_ of last night. Whoever it was that was trying to reach him wasn't giving up easily, and Inuyasha knew he had to answer it. His feet felt like lead with each step, thoughts trying to come up with a viable response to either woman, but once he held the phone in his hands he discovered it wasn't either.

It was a text message from a number he didn't recognize that read: "Son, we need to talk."

* * *

Meeting his father again after decades of not seeing him was surreal. Inuyasha checked the rearview mirror in his car again before stepping out. It was a struggle to make sure that the hat concealed his ears without making it obvious. He had given up trying to tuck the silver hair underneath entirely and foregone the gloves. He'd just keep his hands in his pockets as much as he could.

Touga had requested that they meet in person for dinner at a family-focused restaurant across town. It meant more of a drive for Inuyasha, but for once he didn't give a damn. The old man was finally going to give him answers, whether he wanted to or not. The one thing that puzzled him was that Touga had said it was a family place. Nothing about Inuyasha's appearance screamed family-friendly to him, and he felt like the moment he stepped in the restaurant he'd be singled out.

"Hi there!" The waitress greeted him as he stepped through the doors. "My name is Emily and I'll be serving you this evening! How many in your party, sugar?"

"Uh…I'm actually here to meet someone." Inuyasha felt like a deer in headlights with the chaotic energy this woman was giving off. There was such a thing as too bubbly, and she was oozing it. "Last name is Taisho, I think."

"Oh yes! You must be Touga's first born!" Emily gushed, motioning for him to follow her. "He's already here. Total delight to speak with, let me tell you. He speaks fondly of you, though I don't know… he says that you take after your mother more, but I see a lot of him in you. Must be one of those lucky ones that get the best of both parents. I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that I have my father's shins! Total bird legs from the knees down…"

Emily continued to ramble on as they walked and Inuyasha couldn't tell if she ever stopped to take a breath once. It all felt like one long run-on sentence to him and he was thankful that the knit hat was muffling some of the sound. She didn't give him a chance to comment outside of short grunts to appear that he was listening. It was just as well, because by the time she paused long enough to let him speak, they had reached the designated booth.

Touga slid out of his seat and stood as they approached, or at least it was who Inuyasha _thought_ was his father. The pictures that Izayoi had in her house were of a man with an olive complexion and black hair that fell in waves. Hazel eyes that were captured on film, gazing at his mother tenderly. The man that was holding his hand out to Inuyasha looked nothing like that. Silvery white hair that was pulled back out of his face was much longer than in the pictures. Golden eyes watched him carefully as he accepted the handshake. Dark blue jagged marks across his cheekbones shifted as the man smiled warmly.

"Inuyasha."

The man looked nothing like the man he remembered as a kid that would come to visit, but the scent was unmistakable. This _was_ his father. "Touga."

It was a tense moment, and Inuyasha vaguely heard Emily ask about drinks or entrees, but he ignored her. Touga was sending her off anyway with some sort of request, but all he cared about was answers. Now that he knew for certain that this was his father, he didn't want to piss about. The older man looked back at Inuyasha, and immediately his expression dropped from the jovial manner to concerned. "You could have addressed me as Father."

"Maybe if you had given me a reason decades ago for walking out of my life I might have."

"That's fair," he conceded, motioning to the booth. "Please sit with me? I've requested some appetizers in the meantime. I feel like there is a lot that I need to make up for."

Inuyasha didn't respond, sliding into the unoccupied side of the booth and crossed his arms over his chest. Touga seated himself once more across the table from him, resting his elbows on the table.

"I want to ask where I should start but I feel like that will create a whole other mess of problems," Touga began. "But before I delve into why things happened the way that they did, I want you to understand one thing. I have always loved and will continue to love your mother, just as I do you, Inuyasha."

"That's what Mother says, but it still doesn't explain why you stopped coming around."

Touga frowned, and for a split second Inuyasha could see the guilt in his eyes. "That was my greatest mistake, and every day I hate myself for doing things that way. I was young and stupid, Inuyasha."

The hanyou snorted. "You know how many times I sat up at night as a kid, wondering why my old man stopped giving a damn? How many times I tried to figure out what it was that I had done that made you go away? Parents don't think about what that can do to a kid."

"I'm sorry."

"Keh."

"I mean it, Inuyasha. Your mother bears no ill will toward me, and I was hoping that you could find it in your heart to forgive me." The conversation paused as Emily returned with the drinks and appetizers. Touga read off the menu and ordered for both of them when Inuyasha continued to sit in silence. It wasn't until she was out of earshot that he spoke again. "Do you want me to explain the changes you're going through or do you wish for me to tell you why I had to do what I did?"

Inuyasha was hesitant to answer. He wanted to know both, but… "Explain why you bailed, old man."

Touga's eyebrow raised. It wasn't "father" but it was better than being called by his first name so snidely. "Very well. I've been in love with your mother for a very, very long time. Izayoi has always been my best friend, and to have her love meant everything, until we were blessed with you. Then it became so much more." He smiled fondly, recalling the memories of Izayoi telling him she was pregnant, the birth of his first son, among other tender moments. The smile dropped as the memories shifted to more unpleasant events. "As you got older, it was not my intention to step away as I did. I wanted to be in your life as much as your mother has been."

"Still could've been, but you didn't," Inuyasha pointed out. "I'd get cards with notes written about how you'd like to stop by sometime, but that sometime never came. Then the cards got fewer and far between, if not weeks late."

"Timing has not been a companion of mine," Touga looked down at the plate of appetizers. "It's not enough to apologize with you, is it?"

"Not when you say that you supposedly love my mother so much that you run off and marry another woman – have another kid –"

"There were extenuating circumstances –"

"Bullshit."

"The numbers of our kind is falling," Touga bit out, getting more and more frustrated. Of course _both_ of his sons would inherit his ability to not back down from a challenge, but Inuyasha got it in spades from his mother as well. When he was certain that his son wouldn't cut in again, he continued. "Youkai aren't as common as the world believes, or at least…there aren't as many full blooded youkai anymore. With inu youkai, for example, the numbers are incredibly low. Most have chosen to reproduce with humans, and over generations the youkai blood in the family lines have dwindled to almost nothing.

When your mother was pregnant with you, towards the end, I got a call from Kimi. She was distraught. Down on her luck, had been for a long time, and the social circle that she was running in was shunning her because she had not produced an heir. Your mother…told me to help her. Izayoi knew the circumstances, knew what this would mean for Kimi and us…and she still insisted that I do this."

Inuyasha wasn't sure how to react to that. He knew that his mother had been part of the choice, but still…hearing his old man say it was still hard to believe. "So why didn't you just do a donation or whatever. Why did you run off and marry her instead of Mother?"

"Because Izayoi told me to." Touga smiled bitterly. "Kimi needed help, and not just needing an heir. She needed to build her reputation again, and the biggest way of doing that was to marry and have a child. If she had given birth out of wedlock, it would have done more harm than good. She needed the support that Izayoi had been blessed with from the get go. That is why Izayoi told me to help her. She knew that she could manage on her own…said that if she were in Kimi's situation and she reached out for help, that she hoped there would be someone as understanding. Your mother is a saint, Inuyasha."

"That she is."

Touga nodded once more, dropping a breaded tender on his plate and pulling it apart. "To make a long story short, I married Kimi. Helped her mend her social standing, built her finances up, gave her Sesshomaru. He's about two or three years younger than you, now that I think about it. But despite being the "happy" family that we appeared to be, there was no deep-seated love between us. Don't get me wrong I care for Kimi, but nothing like what I feel for Izayoi. She knows this, before you start."

"What prompted the divorce then?"

"You know about that?" For a second his father looked surprised, but then shook his head. "Of course you know. Your mother wouldn't keep that from you… Those seeds were planted by other people in the circle that Kimi ran with that didn't appreciate her rise or good fortune. Found out about you and your mother through some digging, started a rumor mill that tried to deface all of us. Kimi and I fought to keep you and Izayoi from being drug through the mud, and in the end it was a mutual decision to separate for good. I've been keeping tabs on Kimi to make sure that she's not fallen to ruin by these people, and in doing so I distanced myself from you."

Inuyasha leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. This was…a lot to process. It didn't contradict what his mother had told him, and it definitely filled in a lot of the gaps. The more he thought about it the more irritated he got, especially with Touga sitting across from him waiting for a reply. "Keh! What do you want me to say? That I forgive you?"

Touga snorted. "On the contrary I would settle for understanding, and judging from your tone I think I have it." Before he could continue, there was Emily again, this time with their orders and a pitcher to refill their drinks. As soon as she was gone again he said, "Now that that's out of the way I think we need to talk about the changes in your body."

"Fucking hell old man! I don't need the birds and the bees talk!"

"Considering you're going through it a second time I feel like we do need to cover the new content you weren't told in health class."

The hanyou tucked into his meal, forcing the food down his throat. Maybe if he could get his food down quick enough he could get out of this awkward ass talk. There was something about the grin that Touga was sporting that made him think that his father _knew_ he was a virgin.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself, kids. It's gonna get dark.

' _I don't know if I can do this.'_

Dinner with his old man had been…eventful. Between learning in detail about why Touga had distanced himself to the concealment charm not being a foolproof genetic compressor during sex – he really wasn't surprised but he could have learned this involving anyone else _but his own mother for fucks sake_ – to the inevitable second puberty he was being thrown into. It was good to get answers, even if they weren't the ones he was hoping for. Such as a way to reverse this, or cut it off like a limb that succumb to gangrene. He told his father that he didn't want this, that he was happy as he was, going through life as a human. Touga only shook his head slowly and replied that he didn't have a choice in the matter.

" _These changes are no different than what other hanyou experience when the transition begins. It would be in your best interest to not fight it, Inuyasha. The sooner you allow yourself to make peace with the youkai within you, the sooner you will have balance."_

He knew that he would still have a "night of weakness" as well, but to him that just sounded like a return to normalcy. Touga laughed and told him that once he became used to being a hanyou he'd think differently.

He didn't agree. And right after that was when the topic of Kagome came up. Apparently Izayoi had been keeping Touga in the loop as far as his son's personal life, and Inuyasha wasn't exactly pleased to find out going into this dinner that he already knew so much. Even the most recent updates with him actively avoiding her since the physical changes began to occur. Touga didn't react well to that at all, and it was almost like that phone call with his mother all over again.

" _From what your mother has told me about Kagome, you have nothing to worry about. If Kagome is even a fraction as understanding as Izayoi, there will be no problem. She sounds like she's worth it, son. The longer that you draw out telling her, the bigger the risk you have in actually losing her."_

He hated that even the youkai was agreeing with his old man's words.

Inuyasha knew that he'd have to tell Kagome. It would only be a matter of time. He loved her too much to lose her, but he couldn't help but think that she'd run for the hills the moment she took one look at him. If he didn't…she could get tired of waiting on him and leave anyway. He felt like he was fucked no matter what he did.

_She never said anything against youkai before_. The voice reminded him, and it was true. There was not one memory from their high school or college days that he could recall her ever speaking out against youkai.

Unlike his father, some didn't wish to blend in with humans and sought to ridicule those that did. Those youkai were also known to start fights with humans, thus making others that didn't care either way opt for concealments so that they wouldn't be jumped without warning. Inuyasha had left the restaurant debating on getting a concealment before he talked to Kagome about it at all. _'She'd still know something was off,'_ he thought. _'coming from a long family line of women who were exceptional miko…'_

Inuyasha growled and threw himself onto his bed, kicking his shoes off to clunk on the floor. It was probably too early to go to bed, but he really didn't care to stay up and face the rest of the day. He checked the clock on the bedside table to see that it'd only be an hour or so before he usually turned in. That was odd. Shouldn't he have done something around this time?

As if fate played a part in the timing, his phone buzzed, signaling that he had a text message. Inuyasha shifted and dug the device from his back pocket, unlocking the screen to see that it was an incoming message from Kagome.

Shit.

Fuck.

That's what was off! He hadn't heard from Kagome today!

Truth be told, he wouldn't have minded if she had other things to do, but lately they had been speaking almost daily, so the fact that he hadn't remembered could only be chalked up to just how foggy his head had been with all the information from earlier. Didn't stop him from feeling guilty all the same. She had been reaching out to him for the most part, but he had been trying to do better and surprise her with messages first. It was his way of building his courage to talk to her about the stuff he'd been dealing with. At least that was what he'd convinced himself he was doing.

[Hi Inu, I'm sorry I won't be able to talk this evening – I had to drive back home for a few days. Mom said that Grandpa might have broken an ankle, but could just be a sprain. I'll text you when I know more. Didn't want to worry you]

That was concerning. He really hoped the old man hadn't hurt himself that badly; at his age it could really mess him up. Another message was currently being typed as he read, pushing it further up the screen.

[Thought that since I probably wouldn't be able to talk much while I'm here, I thought I'd send you a picture I took this morning. Have something to think of me by 😉 Love you, Inu! ❤]

Just like before, another message was getting ready to load, and Inuyasha took this to mean the photo she had mentioned. Without thinking he had tapped on the screen to load the image fully, and nearly choked on his spit once it did.

There was Kagome alright. All of Kagome. Inuyasha swallowed. Holy fucking shit. He was not expecting _that_. He had surmised that she would send a cute selfie, dolled up with hair ornaments that she found appealing, some pastel blouse or dress, and an overabundance of makeup he didn't feel that she needed. But this…this was… _fuck_.

Kagome wasn't wearing makeup. Her hair wasn't really brushed through, unless she intentionally chose to tease it into messy waves that looked like she had been ridden hard the night before. The cream-colored silk robe she wore was undone and open, exposing just about every inch of her to his gaze. Kagome had held the phone overhead, so it was almost like he were standing there before her as she sat daintily in her kitchen. The robe did little to hide the shape of her breasts, arranged just so that they would conceal her nipples and present a taste of what he could have. Her back was arched slightly and her legs were crossed over the thigh, but he could glimpse the faint trace of lace from her panties.

Even the youkai in his head was speechless.

Ungh….fuck that did things to him. And that look in her eyes as she took the picture? She knew _exactly_ what she was doing and what it would lead him to do.

Inuyasha all but shredded his pants to get them off. If he didn't jerk himself raw by morning he was going to be amazed.

* * *

Four. Weeks.

Practically a month.

Kagome was teetering on the edge of pissed off and about to dip into full-blown rage.

Inuyasha hadn't even sent a _text_.

When her mother called that day, telling her that her grandfather had slipped as he was cleaning the shrine, she knew she had to drive home. Thankfully it wasn't anything more serious than a sprain, but it had been enough of a shock to convince the stubborn old man that age wasn't just a number. Her brother was there to pick up the slack since she moved out, but she still called in to work to use some of her vacation days so she could handle business at the shrine. Inuyasha had texted her back after she updated him, wishing her grandfather well and for her to take care of herself too.

Returning home after that, she'd expected that things between them might pick back up where they were. At least where they were at before she left. She would have been happy with that…but there was something…off…with how he spoke when they talked on the phone. She couldn't place it, but something had happened. The fact that she couldn't tell if it was something good or something bad scared her the most.

They had spoken and talked through text for about a week, then it turned into once every few days the week after, and after that it had dwindled to more excuses than talking. Excuses that came in short responses whenever she tried to reach out to him.

It was early evening when Kagome found herself sitting at the foot of her bed, holding her phone and worrying her bottom lip. The only evidence she had that she had sent that photo before she went home lay in her messages – and his. She wasn't sure what had come over her that morning – something about hearing him talk the night before had ignited some sort of desire in her to go out of her comfort zone. She hadn't gotten a reply back that said he thought it was repulsive and that she had lowered herself by taking such a picture… but then she hadn't gotten a response about it _period_. He had always diverted the question when she brought it up, much like he did when she asked months ago if she could come to his apartment to hang out.

Maybe…maybe she shouldn't have sent that photo.

Kagome swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. She was not going to cry. What was done was done, and she couldn't take it back. If Inuyasha wanted to pretend that she hadn't seen him a nearly nude photo, then so be it.

Her thumb unlocked the screen and pulled up his number. She was going to get to the bottom of this tonight, and a text wouldn't suffice. As resolute as that decision was, it didn't stop her stomach from doing flips as she pressed the phone to her ear and waited to hear his voice.

"Hello?"

"Inuyasha."

"Kagome…"

Why did he sound so surprised to hear her? "Are you busy?" she asked, straining her ears to listen for any signs of the tv playing – or if there were another person in his apartment.

"No, I was just reading," he said quickly. "What's up?"

Her heart was telling her that he answered that too quickly, and the bile began to turn over in her stomach. _'Don't panic. It might not even be that…'_ "I wanted to ask you something, Inu. I'd rather do it in person but –"

"Kagome, if this is about coming over –"

"No! I mean kind of – but that's not the entirety of it." She sighed and braced herself. "I want to know what's been going on with you for months."

There was a long pause.

The longer the silence went on the longer she began to feel that he was coming up with a list of lies.

"Kagome," he started, pausing again. "You know I've had stuff going on."

"That's _all_ I know, Inuyasha. You won't tell me anything else! It's been _months_ since we've actually _seen_ each other! Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

"Of course it does!"

"Then why can't you tell me what's been wrong?"

"It's…complicated."

"Uh huh. Complicated," she repeated, clicking her tongue against her teeth. The uneasiness she was feeling was turning over into anger that she couldn't control. Everything about the way he was dodging the questions felt suspicious. "Who is she?"

"What the fuck?"

"I said, who is she Inuyasha?"

"And I said what the fuck, Kagome!"

"Is it that coffee shop barista? Or the waitress at Chili's? Anyone from our high school days decide to fly under your radar and spread her legs for you? Is that why you've been avoiding me? You don't want me to see the hickies some woman's given you? Don't want me to smell her perfume? See her stuff in your dresser drawer?"

Inuyasha's voice took on a darker tone as he began to snap back, and all it seemed to do was make Kagome madder. "What the hell is wrong with you, Kagome?! There ain't any other woman! What the fuck made you think there was!?"

"You've been pulling away from me ever since I made it clear that I was open to more. You've been making up excuses to avoid me – going so far to rope your own mother into them so that you'd have an alibi. I know that you work doesn't have you pushing overtime this much, so if it's not another woman, then what is it? Are you into men?"

"Fuck no!" he yelled so loud into the phone that she had to pull it away from her ear.

"Then why are you being such a jerk!" she yelled back.

"I'm doing this to protect you, dammit!"

"How are you protecting me, Inuyasha? Huh?! From my perspective all I can see is that you're drifting away from me!"

"I'm not –"

Kagome couldn't stop her next words from coming out if she tried. Her voice dropped into a flat tone as she said, "Perhaps it's me that should cut the cord on this relationship, Inuyasha. I'm the one that's been fighting to keep it alive for so long, and it looks like you've done given up on us. Maybe I'm the one that's insane for thinking that we were meant to be together…"

"Kagome, wait –"

"Goodbye Inuyasha."

She pressed 'end call' and turned her phone off, letting it drop to the floor with a clunk. What did it really matter if it got damaged? There weren't many contacts on it anyway, so it wouldn't be a hardship to replace. Her heart felt hollow as the first tear rolled down her cheek, quickly followed by another. It felt like a stupid thing to cry about, but her emotions had risen to new heights and bottomed out in record time.

Crying was necessary.

It couldn't cure her broken heart, but it was all she had.

* * *

_WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!_

"I wasn't thinking!" Inuyasha roared within the confines of his apartment. He really hadn't, and he was going to own up to that.

For months this was what he had been trying to avoid, and in the end it still happened. He thought that by avoiding it, it would fix itself. Kagome had reached out – again – to try to mend all the work that they had made together. To make things work, and he had fucked it up. He got defensive. She had yelled. He had yelled back. And then…and then she said… oh god she had said…

" _Goodbye, Inuyasha."_

He wanted to vomit.

That wasn't a farewell with the promise of talking again soon. That was permanent, and it was his fault.

The youkai in his head was still screaming at him, calling him everything under the sun, but he didn't care. He had ruined a perfectly good thing. It wasn't until the youkai began to demand that he go to Kagome's and fix this mess that he began to see red.

Quite literally. Everything in his vision was tinted red, like he had a film of opaque blood smeared across his eyes. Inuyasha scrubbed at them with his knuckles and looked around, snarling. No luck.

"And how am I supposed to do that, you fucker!" his voice came out in a fatal growl. A rage was building in him the likes of which he had never felt before. This – this voice – really felt like it had a say in the matter? "ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE OF YOU!"

_YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF BEING THE ONE THAT HAS RUN OUR MATE OFF –_

"YEAH, I AM!" Inuyasha continued to snarl, feeling spit dribble from the corner of his mouth. His teeth were beginning to ache from gritting them so hard. This anger was unreal. It throbbed within his blood like a second pulse, and each beat of his heart only made it that much stronger. It was like he was feeding into the desire to tear something apart – or someone – and he wasn't against the idea. He began to grip at his shirt, digging his claws through the threading and into his chest, drawing up splotches of blood that quickly soaked the shirt.

Maybe if he could rip his heart out it would kill the youkai within him. What did it matter if he had a heart anyway?

What did it matter if he survived the night? Kagome was gone.

He had no reason to keep living.

The loss of blood was starting to catch up to him, and Inuyasha hit his knees. He didn't stop digging his claws into his torso, even after the youkai's voice shifted to concern, telling him to stop. "It's because of _you_ that I even had to hide away from Kagome in the first place! _You_ are the one that has turned me into this – this _monster_ – and it's because of _you_ that I have lost the one good thing… in my… life…"

His vision was starting to blur. Was this it? Is this what death was like?

"Kagome…is gone…" he coughed, feeling the metallic taste on his tongue. Blood splattered on the floor before him, and everything was going dark. The last he heard was the youkai's roar filling his ears as his body fell into the growing puddle.

* * *

The youkai slowly pushed himself to his knees and looked around him. He felt weak as shit from the blood loss, but given enough time he would be back to normal. The clothes were shredded and stained, and as he inspected his skin he could see the gashes stitch themselves back together. It was cathartic in a way, watching the destruction the hanyou had done to his person be repaired.

"Foolish hanyou," he spat the last remains of the blood into the ripped shirt, pulling it off. It was a slow walk to the bathroom, but he had to shower. It was necessary to hide any and all evidence of the hanyou's attempted suicide.

He couldn't very well go find Kagome looking like he had been jumped by a bear youkai, could he?

After a shower and fresh change of clothes, the youkai looked around the apartment. He had watched the hanyou long enough to know how to operate that portable calling device, so it wasn't difficult to locate her information.

She wasn't responding.

The youkai glared at the device and jammed it in his back pocket. It'd be there in the event that he tried again, but he wasn't going to put stock in that happening. He had easier ways to locate the female he desired. There were enough objects within the apartment that it wasn't a stretch to find something that was masked in Kagome's scent.

* * *

' _I hate myself,'_ Kagome thought bitterly as she lay in bed.

It was nearing midnight and she was _awake_. After _that_ phone call…she had thrown herself into her pillows and cried herself to sleep. Everything about that evening haunted her in her sleep, making it restless – and wanting. It had shown her convoluted fantasies of her and Inuyasha.

Happy.

_Together._

And then it had shifted to the sex.

Every wild thought she had ever entertained, every position, every surface – she was given a front row seat as she watched herself and Inuyasha. She was shown everything she ever wanted with him.

Everything she couldn't have. All because she had ruined her chances hours before.

She had woken up, tear-streaked face feeling pulled tight, along with a throbbing ache between her thighs that wouldn't go away. It wasn't fair! She had gone and put her foot in her mouth, and now karma had gotten her back tenfold. Trying to go back to sleep wasn't working. She knew the moment she did she'd be dropped back into the world that would never be, and her heart wasn't ready to face that again. Neither was distracting herself with mundane facts in an attempt to quell her arousal. All she could think about was how much she needed Inuyasha in her life.

She regretted everything she said on the phone.

She wished she could take it back. Tell him that she'd wait however long he needed, so long as he didn't walk away from them. She'd do whatever he asked of her to make things right.

It was already late when she came to this decision, but she couldn't bring herself to call him. if Inuyasha had tried to reach her, he would already know that she had turned her phone off… Logic told her that it would be better to wait and speak to him with a clearer head so she didn't fuck up again – provided that she could get back to sleep at all.

Kagome hadn't been in the right frame of mind to get off even as she got out the glass dildo, but something had to be done. Even a lackluster orgasm could let her doze off for a few hours. She had started to revisit what she had seen in her dreams, but the more she tried to piece together the details, the less inclined she was to get off. The feeling of guilt of what she had done was outweighing the eroticism of the dreams.

There was more than enough of that in her conscious mind. She didn't need the dreams to remind her.

Ultimately, it came down to reliving that night that they'd had phone sex to get wet enough and not feel like she was going to chafe herself with the dildo. So naturally, it was in the moment when she was soaked, throbbing, and so close to coming that she heard a knock at her door.

Karma was a ruthless bitch.

Kagome took a deep breath. She'd already lost her temper once. It was late, so it could have been an emergency, and if it was the person didn't deserve that. She left the dildo laying on her bed as she shrugged on her silk robe, belting it tightly. It was late, she reminded herself. She didn't have to open the door if she didn't feel comfortable. If it was important, she could tell them that they could come back the next day.

That's how she reasoned it would play out, anyway.

Each step closer to the door had her feeling like she couldn't turn the person on the other side away. There was a raw power emanating from where they stood, and it drew her closer. She could feel the strength in the air like a steady pulse…almost lethal in nature…so why wasn't she more concerned? The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up, and her stomach turned over, not unlike that when one encounters a wild animal. Everything ounce of logic that she had earlier _should_ have been telling her to turn away, but instead it was _encouraging_ her to keep going.

Kagome hadn't made a sound as she stopped on the other side of the door. Hadn't stood on tiptoe to look through the peephole. Didn't want to tip off whoever was on the other side that she had heard the summons. She still wanted to feel like she was in control of the situation, to be able to decide what the next course of action was.

"Kagome?" the voice called out suddenly, as if they knew she were right there. A very _familiar_ voice. One that made her decision easy.

"Inuyasha?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be where most of those tags come into play, so... yeah. You'll have to tell me if it fits the bill, or if I need to edit the tags, cause there's one I'm not even entirely sure if it applies. It's a gray area. Maybe it'll make up for the ending of the last chapter?
> 
> Updated earlier than normal for the IY Sugar and Spice event on tumblr, so no update this Tuesday I'm afraid. Hang about on Thursday and I'll have an update for another fic?

It couldn't be – but it was him. Wasn't it?

Kagome's heart said so, but her mind still demanded that she check through the peephole before she opened that door. It _was_ him, but something was different. She tightened the belt on her robe and smoothed out her hair before she unlatched the door and opened it. That raw power be damned, was her reasoning. Inuyasha was standing right there and she trusted him with all her heart. With the door opened wide she could better see the man she loved for the first time in months. "Inuyasha…"

She wanted to ask what had happened to him. Wanted to know why his hair was shoulder-length and silver. Had he not trimmed it since they were last together? Was this a new color he wanted to try? What did he use for those purple markings on his cheekbones? Had he hurt himself for his eyes to bleed red like that?

Her stomach twisted at the last thought. Of course he had hurt himself. She had hurt him. She was that much of a bitch, and she hated herself.

"Kagome…" he spoke, and when she looked back up into his eyes, he was watching her with concern.

Her. Like she was the one that was in worse shape. Though…maybe she was, but something was still off about his appearance. She needed to know, but she had to make things right first. Kagome let out a shuddering breath as she said "Inuyasha, I'm so sorry!"

Now he was looking at her surprised. Oh god, did he not want to accept her apology? Was he coming over her to tell her off? That there was no chance of fixing this?

"I know."

"W-what?" He said that so…simply! So nonchalant. It was like it was water under the bridge. "Inuyasha, I… do you want to come in? So we can talk?" Kagome stepped back as he came through the doorway, and she slowly closed the door. If she was going to beg for forgiveness she wasn't going to give her neighbors the satisfaction of hearing or seeing it.

The youkai stepped into the apartment and inhaled deeply. Yes, this is where he was meant to be. This woman's scent was everywhere, and if the hanyou hadn't been so stupid, it could also cover every inch of his apartment. It was a wonderful scent and he couldn't understand why the hanyou was so hesitant. He _knew_ , but he also felt it was a stupid excuse, especially when the woman standing behind him was so sad. He didn't like that she was sad. He wanted to fix that. She was close to crying, and he couldn't stand it.

As soon as the door clicked shut he spun on his heel to face her again. "Lock it," he told her.

"W-what?"

"The door. Lock it."

Kagome swallowed her thoughts on that, reaching for the chain and sliding it into the panel. She twisted the deadbolt as well, like she did with her nightly routine. There were too many implications that could come from his words, but she was too scared to lean towards any of them. "Inuyasha, I'm so, so sorry for what I said earlier-"

"I'm the one that's sorry, Kagome."

"Why? You weren't the one that… Inuyasha?" Her body stilled as he began to step closer to her, and the realization that she wasn't wearing anything under the robe kicked in. Kagome took a step back for each one that Inuyasha took towards her, trying to keep distance between them. It didn't look like he wanted to though, but she _needed_ to get him to understand why she was upset. She couldn't do that if he was in her personal space, as much as she wanted him there.

Among other places.

Bad Kagome! Focus!

Her backtracking came to an end when she felt her ass collide with the edge of her dining room table. Inuyasha was still advancing on her, and despite her resolve to not think too hard into it, her thighs clenched in anticipation. That look in his eyes…she had never seen that look before, not even in her dreams.

She liked it.

The youkai didn't stop until he felt the body heat radiating from the smaller woman. How could he convince her that she had nothing to apologize for? Slowly, he brought a clawed hand up, caressing her cheek…and testing her reaction. She didn't flinch away from him like the hanyou expected that she would, which was a good sign. Even trapped between him and the table, if she had given him the slightest sign that she didn't want his touch, he would've backed away.

He wasn't a complete asshole. The hanyou needed to have more faith in him.

"You have nothing to apologize for, Kagome," he told her softly. He was going to have to pull from some jumbled thoughts of the hanyou's to elaborate. His idea of an apology would have to wait. "You had every right to say what you felt. The fault is mine. I ignored your feelings for so long that it was only a matter of time before it came out."

"You said you had things to figure out. I shouldn't have pushed."

The youkai snorted lightly. "It took this evening to knock some sense into my head," he smiled, albeit bitterly. "I was a fool, Kagome. I took advantage of you. Made you wait longer than you should have, because I was a coward." He stepped closer, drawing her against him with his free hand around her waist. "I'm not a coward anymore."

Kagome felt like she was in a dream when the hand that cupped her cheek cradled the back of her head at just the right angle for the toe-curling kiss. It had been so long she almost forgot what it felt like to be kissed like this. But then, if it was a dream, why would she imagine Inuyasha with silver hair and fuzzy ears? She had been perplexed by them since she first saw them, but her upset had quelled her desire to touch them. When Inuyasha's tongue traced her bottom lip, she decided that if he could get away with making her legs shake, she could touch those ears. They were probably costume shop accessories, anyway.

Her fingertips brushed against the soft fur and she thought that she'd have to commend the company that made them until they closed around the flesh and discovered how they felt warm to the touch. That should have been what startled her, but no, it was the rumble she felt against her chest and the hand that gripped her waist shift, slipping underneath the robe to palm her bare ass cheek.

It wasn't the prick of the claws that tickled as they curved around the inner part of her thigh that made her legs shake. It was the shock of his hand there period. No prompting on her part like all the times that she had attempted to guide him before. He just…went for it.

She might have whimpered against his lips when that hand squeezed.

It couldn't be helped.

The youkai let out another deep groan as Kagome's fingers continued to massage her ears. It felt so fucking good! It wasn't enough that the way her body fit against his, or the way her scent floated around him, or even the fact that she was leaving little between them with that thin material. The way her fingers caressed his ears so lovingly made him want to kick the hanyou in the ass – if he hadn't been so stupid for months he could've been getting this kind of treatment well before now!

The jeans he had dressed in were a mistake. The thick material was doing a poor job of being comfortable as his cock stiffened. Kagome seemed to pick up on his excitement at least, the way she pushed herself closer to him, almost like she were grinding against him…

He pulled back, sniffing the air lightly. Why had he not noticed it before? There had been a hint of something…spicier…in the air, but it wasn't as strong as now. From the looks of where they stood, he knew it wouldn't have been from the kitchen. It was too far away to be that strong, even with his sense of smell. The youkai looked down at Kagome, who was watching him curiously.

Kagome wanted to ask if she had hurt him, but the words died on her lips when he leaned down, pressing his nose beneath her ear and…sniffing? It tickled and she tried not to squirm, especially since that one hand had a firm grip on her ass still. His sniffing continued down the column of her neck, to her collarbone, down to where the folds in her robe met.

Then he looked up at her and grinned.

Oh shit.

"You naughty thing," he purred, "What have you been doing, Ka-Go-Me?"

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Shit. Fuck. Oh god. This couldn't be happening. There was no way he knew –

The youkai's grin continued to grow. "I think you do. Why don't you be a good girl and tell me what you were doing?"

That time she did shiver in his hold, being thrown back to that night when he sounded so…dominant over the phone. Had he found his courage? Is this how he wanted to…to…

The hand on her ass gave a quick pinch, making her jump slightly. It also gave the youkai a delightful and up close view of her breasts bouncing against the material of the robe. He let his other hand dip a claw into the knot at the belt, slowly easing it apart. She wasn't objecting, but he had to take this slow. If she didn't agree to it, he wasn't going to push.

"I…I was…I was touching myself," she said breathily. The hand on her ass continued to palm her, and she couldn't take her eyes away from the hand that was opening the belt. Was this going to happen? Were they finally going to –

"Tell me how." It wasn't a question, but a demand.

"W-with my…my…Inuyasha…"

The hand stopped it's movements with the knot and she felt another pinch. "I said. Tell me how."

"My glass dildo," Kagome whispered.

The youkai's expression shifted as he watched her. The knot loosened, but he didn't move to undo the twist of the belt to open the robe. He was too focused on her embarrassed look. "Why do you look ashamed? You like the feel of that glass inside you, do you not?"

"I…" Kagome couldn't say it out loud, so she nodded. For some reason admitting it in front of Inuyasha felt different than when they talked over the phone. On the phone there was no fear of seeing the disgust in his eyes. Inuyasha was looking at her with anything but disgust, she realized. It was far from that.

It was desire.

Inuyasha _desired_ her. The rigid bulge she had rocked against earlier reminded her of that. Her thighs clenched again, not just from the ache that had fired up within her, but from the sudden horror that she could feel slick traveling down her inner thighs. She knew it wouldn't prevent it from traveling, but it was a reflex!

The youkai let the belt slide open and fall to the floor as the folds parted to reveal creamy skin. The delicious scent that wafted from Kagome increased suddenly, and she couldn't hide her legs pressing together from his view now. She was a vision standing before him, not unlike that picture she had sent the hanyou. Seeing the swell of her breasts half obscured by that robe was even better in person. Her stomach had a small amount of fat around it that softened her features, and he pressed a gentle kiss there. If he had his say in the matter, this curve would one day be filled with their growing pup, and that thought pleased him greatly. His eyes trailed downward to see the dark patch of curls that had been hidden from his view before. But it was something else that had caught his attention, making him grin once more.

"Open your legs," he demanded.

"Inuyasha…"

"I won't say it again."

Kagome tried to steady her breathing as she braced her hands against the table behind her and parted her legs. From that tone of voice she knew she couldn't go against him, so she spread her legs slightly wider than shoulder width.

"Good girl," he purred, not looking up at her from his position.

She swore she could have come right then. What was wrong with her all of a sudden? Was she this hard up for his attention? Did she need to get off this badly, that words that were used by anyone else in any other context would've sent her into a rage?

His ears twitched, picking up the strangled sound of his name. Kagome was trembling before him, and while he appreciated the view, this wasn't what he wanted. Not yet, anyway. The youkai stood, regrettably taking his hands back so that he could remove his shirt, letting it drop to the floor. "Do you want this, Kagome?" he asked. "Do you want me to fuck you senseless?" He undid the button and zipper on his jeans, revealing the lack of boxers as his cock sprung free. "Do you want me to take you so hard, so long that you can't walk, Ka-Go-Me?"

She nodded minutely.

"Not good enough," he chided her, pushing his pants down and stepping out of them. "Be a good girl and tell me – yes, or no. I want to hear you say it."

Kagome swallowed. She knew what she wanted to say – god ever did she know – and as much as she wanted to say, she had to know something else first. "Is there something wrong, Inuyasha? You seem so different. You _look_ different. I just…need to know that you're okay."

The youkai stepped close, cupping her face with both hands. "I am still me, Kagome. Everything about me is fine, I promise. I look different, but I'm still the man that loves you."

She watched his eyes, teal and red, blink back at her as she chewed her lip. Her answer came out firm as she said "Yes, Inuyasha". Kagome didn't hold back when she pressed herself against him, wrapping her arms around his neck to pull him down for another kiss. Between the feel of his arms around her, the hard cock pushing against her belly, or the light nipping of his teeth on her lip, she decided she was in heaven.

He couldn't do this. Not… _here_ exactly, but Kagome was making it hard to think. It was probably a bad idea on his part to open her robe, because sweet gods did she feel good against him, but if he didn't stop – "Not here," he growled, pushing back slightly. "Not this time. Not for what I have planned."

For once she wasn't upset that he pulled away, even if the idea of being bent over the table and fucked wasn't a bad idea. Wasn't really the way she wanted her first time to go, but second or third… "And what do you have in mind?" she asked, unable to keep herself from smiling.

"Lead the way to your bed and I'll show you." the youkai purred, hooking a finger under the edge of each side of her robe and slipping it off her shoulders.

Kagome gave a startled yelp when she turned her back to Inuyasha, feeling the sting of his hand connect with her ass. So that's how he wanted to play, was it?

Maybe she'd swing her hips a little more than she normally did with each step.

Maybe she'd walk a bit slower and drag out the wait.

_Smack!_

"Really?"

"Don't tease me, woman."

She shouldn't have said it, but it was too easy to not bring up all the times he had teased her unknowingly. There was a deep growl from behind her that sent tingles down her spine and had her feet moving a little faster. It wasn't that she was scared of Inuyasha – far from it – but the anticipation was getting to be too much. As soon as she reached her bedroom door, it was clear he wasn't waiting when she felt her feet leave the floor. Inuyasha had scooped her up and carried her to the bed, setting her in the center.

The youkai climbed onto the bed, sitting back on his knees at the head. Kagome had sat up and turned to face him, but he was too curious about the items on the bed next to her. The clear one he surmised was the dildo even before he picked it up, but the other… "You never mentioned this," he said, picking up the other object. It was of similar weight, black, and slightly curved with what looked like a ball attached to the end.

Kagome's face got hot as Inuyasha held up her vibrator. "I…didn't get a chance to mention it?" she offered. Just because she had woken up turned on didn't mean that she didn't need a… _push_ …to get going before she had started using the dildo, and well…it took some doing, but she'd found a decent rhythm before she'd been interrupted.

Watching Inuyasha's face light up when he discovered the on button and the different speeds had been amusing for all of a few seconds. When he looked back at her with a devious grin, it wasn't funny anymore.

"Lay down and spread your legs as far as you can," he ordered. When Kagome was on her back before him, legs parted across the mattress, he placed the vibrator in her open palm. "I'm going to fuck you with this dildo, just like you asked me to do, do you remember?"

"Y-yes." Her voice came out higher than she meant it to, but she was also looking up at a very erect cock that twitched. She thought it was odd for him to sit above her like this, but his next words had her whimpering and forgetting everything else.

"I want you to use that on yourself while I fuck you," the youkai stated, nodding to the vibrator in her hand. "You do not take it away until I say so. You do not close your legs. If you do either, I will stop. Understand?"

"Y-yes."

"Good girl," he purred, and Kagome let out another noise of delight. Those little noises only served to make him throb with want as he shifted his body to lean across hers, dropping an elbow to the bed to bear his weight. He heard Kagome click on the device and position it against herself. It was hard to tell where, but from the sound of the vibrations and the way the muscles in her thighs jumped she had found the right spot.

The youkai decided to start slow as he fed the dildo through her folds. He wanted to see the way her body fluttered around it, see how wet she was already before he increased his motions. His ears listened for any sounds of displeasure as he began to pump the dildo faster. The mewls she was letting out were good, but it wasn't what he was hoping to hear. He wanted _more_. To hear her scream, beg him to give her release, to watch her fall apart as she came.

Kagome was struggling to obey Inuyasha's orders. Even with the setting at it's lowest, the steady vibration against her clit was getting to be too much with the dildo filling her faster and faster. Her legs quivered, but she kept them parted. Surely he didn't mean it if she lifted the toy, did he? She needed a minute, just one moment so she could catch her breath –

The quick removal of the dildo proved that he hadn't been joking.

"Why did you stop?" she begged. There was a new ache from having the wonderful sensations pulled away so suddenly that made her want to scream.

"Because you didn't listen. I told you not to pull it away until I told you that you could."

"But –"

"Don't test me, Ka-Go-Me."

She wanted to. He was in control, and as much as she liked it, in that moment she was annoyed. Any time in the past that she had tried to get him to take charge, he had balked at it – now that he had her naked, wet, and _begging_ , suddenly he was some sex god? She was going to get him back for this. Instead of retorting, she let out a sigh of resignation, bringing the vibrator back to her clit. Almost instantly she felt the stretch of the glass dildo filling her again, and she let out a hiss of pleasure.

A drop of moisture landed on her lip, and Kagome struggled to process just _what_ it was for a minute. Because Inuyasha was leaning across her body, watching himself fuck her with the toy, it had put his cock at the prime spot for tasting the precum that was leaking from the tip. He was too distracted looking at her down there to either notice or really care that she had a free hand. Kagome was smiling deviously inside as she reached up to lightly stroke the shaft, watching it twitch in response. Her tongue darted out to swipe at the liquid on her lip, not minding the flavor.

She wanted more.

It wouldn't hurt, right? All she had to do was nudge his cock down a bit. Just enough to catch the dribble. If her tongue happened to trace the underside, she was just making sure she got it all.

It had only taken one swipe of her tongue along the ridge for two things to happen at once…three if she counted the noise that came from Inuyasha. It was somewhere between a groan and a growl, and if Kagome had to guess it was more from shock than anything. He never told her she _couldn't_ touch him – she just couldn't take the vibrator off her clit. His hips had bucked forward jerkily, like he was trying to restrain himself from forcing his cock down her throat. If she had tilted her head in just the wrong way, she very may well could have. But the most startling thing was that Inuyasha had increased the thrusts with the dildo at an alarmingly fast pace.

Kagome wasn't in pain, but holy hell was he hitting some spots! She had only ever managed this kind of pleasure a few times, and it took some careful angling and shallow thrusts to make her body hum like this! The buildup had taken so long, and then Inuyasha took control, and now – now she felt like she was about to die from the pleasure. Her body was tightening, that coil was seconds from snapping, and he wasn't slowing down.

She screamed so loud from that orgasm she was certain her neighbors heard.

The youkai continued to pump the dildo within her, grinning as he watched her juices coat her thighs, the dildo, and the bed. He had done that. He was the one to bring that pleasure out of her, even if he hadn't been balls-deep in her.

Yet.

Kagome gasped for breath and shuddered as she felt the toy finally be removed. She wanted to sit up but she didn't think she had the strength in her arms to even raise up on her elbows. She was doing good to power off the vibrator as it was. All she could do was lay there and catch her breath, looking up at that twitching cock.

Was it just her imagination, or did he look _thicker_ than her dildo?

A strangled whimper may have snuck out.

The youkai looked down at Kagome, reaching down to brush the tangled hair from her face. "You did so well," he praised her. "look at how soaked it is," he added, holding the dildo above her. "You look absolutely beautiful when you come, do you know that?"

Kagome felt her face redden at the comment.

"I wonder if you taste just as delicious as you smell," he murmured, glancing between her parted thighs and the toy. "Can't waste this, however…"

Was he –? Oh gods, he was!

It shouldn't have been a turn on to see Inuyasha drag his tongue along the glass dildo, licking her slick off it like it was a dripping ice cream, but her thighs snapped together with the pulsing and she _swore_ she could feel herself getting wet _again_. What the hell was wrong with her? Not once in her life did she believe that she had a praise kink, but if it was Inuyasha then all bets were off. Now this? Watching him lick her toy clean? It should have repulsed her at the bare minimum, but instead she was envisioning getting ahold of him and doing those exact motions.

She was so far gone in her thoughts of how she was going to suck him dry that she didn't pay mind to the dildo being tossed onto the bed, rolling off the edge and clattering to the floor. It was tough enough. Probably dent the floor before it even got a hairline crack.

Then Inuyasha dove, grabbing her thighs and holding them apart while he feasted on her.

Kagome wouldn't have cared if the building was on fire with the way his tongue lapped at her folds. Let it burn, just so long as he didn't stop. Her clit was still hyper sensitive to the touch after the vibrator, but the gentle flicks against it had her turning into putty all over again. It was almost enough to forget about the cock bobbing over her head.

Almost.

She owed him, especially after seeing him all but deep throat that dildo.

With both hands she slowly reached up and stroked him, shivering as he moaned his appreciation at her touch against her clit. His knees spread further apart, lowering his hips as she began to lick the head. Either he was being helpful or he was trying to resist riding her face, she didn't know or care. It have her better access to take him in her mouth and suck without getting a crick in her neck.

The youkai was struggling not to force his cock down Kagome's throat, but the way her tongue traced him, how her lips would wrap around him and the way she sucked – fuck he couldn't help it! It was just the once! His hips slammed down, driving the flesh into the back of her throat, and he had heard her gag at the suddenness of it. Kagome shifted, but didn't ask him to move off of her. She drew him back in her mouth and laved at the tip like she had been before, like he hadn't tried to impale her on accident.

Fuck, he loved this woman.

The hanyou was a fool for not realizing how good he had it.

She wasn't going to hold it against him – it _had_ been an accident, and from the way he was tightening she knew he was about to come. Kagome just hadn't expected how _much_. None of the porn she had watched where couples had done this had ever had the woman choking on his cum – but there it was. She had been able to swallow some of it, but it kept filling her throat and her gag reflex was telling her enough was enough. She didn't care that she hadn't gotten anything from this round but keyed up again as she rolled to her side and coughed onto the bed.

Kagome grimaced as she realized what she had done. _'It's not like I won't be washing these anyway,'_ she thought, grabbing the corner of her flat sheet and trying to wipe her mouth clean. It was better to not think about that now.

The youkai moved as soon as he heard the woman underneath him make a choking sound that was different from earlier. He hadn't meant to spill his seed that quickly, and he certainly didn't expect her to try to swallow it all. The way Kagome turned away from him as she coughed made him feel a twinge of regret. Maybe it would have been better to let her be on top so she could ride his face instead? Perhaps next time?

The way she presented herself as she wiped her face clean made his cock throb in want all over again. With her back turned to him, all he could focus on was the shapely curve of her ass and the slick covered folds that he hadn't finished tasting with his tongue. Creamy thighs were clenched together, unmarked disappointingly. It would probably have been better if the hanyou were the one to do the marking – teeth, claws, it didn't matter. She needed to bear the marks of him at some point, even if it was just for a few days. The satisfaction would be immeasurable.

Right then? He wanted to drive himself into her over and over. Feel her walls explode around him as he filled her with his seed.

Kagome felt the light pricks of his nails along her hips as he grasped her, pulling her up. "Inu…yasha?"

"On your knees."

It was a shaky effort but she managed it, gasping at the sudden intrusion of his cock between her thighs. "I-Inu-!" she felt a hand on her shoulder, guiding her head to the bed. The light stroking against her clit was making her thighs squeeze together, making him growl in pleasure in return.

"Keep your head down, your ass up," he commanded with a shaky breath, pulling his cock out from between her thighs. Her slick mixed with traces of his own cum that he hadn't wiped away. When she tried to raise up on her elbows, he gave her ass a smack. Just enough to remind her to obey him. Kagome's moan of delight immediately after made the youkai grin. "And Ka-Go-Me?"

"Y-yes?"

"Hold on."

She thought her dildo was thick. It had hit all the good places and made her orgasm multiple times when she was really keyed up. Seeing Inuyasha swollen and hard had given her pause, but she thought it was just her lust-fogged brain that had been playing tricks on her. They were certainly the same length…but Inuyasha was much thicker than she realized.

The youkai had assumed that as wet as she was, that she had taken the dildo so well, that he would slide easily into her heat. He did – the thrust was quick and deep – but the yelp that came from beneath him had the words "should I stop" leaving his lips before he knew it. He didn't want to hurt her. He wanted to fuck her. Give her what she wanted. That sound, that was anything _but_.

"N-no! Don't s-stop! Please Inuyasha!"

Kagome had waited too damn long for this moment. It hadn't played out like she always figured it would, with her leading him into things, but by god she didn't want him to stop! Not now! He was seated to the hilt and filling her _so good_ that it made her eyes want to roll back. That first thrust in was unexpected, but the pain was already fading. If he hadn't been able to hurt her with the dildo at the pace he had set then, he wasn't going to hurt her now.

He began to slowly pull back, until he could see the edge of his head peeking from her swollen lips before he slammed back into her. The youkai wasn't going to get to watch the vision of his cock disappearing in her at this pace, but fuck it. It felt too good to bury himself in her like this, fast and hard.

The pace Inuyasha was setting was faster than she thought possible. It was on par with the speed at which he had fucked her with her dildo, if not faster. And the angle was so good, but her legs were beginning to shake. She could feel her hips begin to drop.

_SMACK!_

Her ass was likely sporting a nice red handprint, but she didn't care. She couldn't hold this position anymore.

"I said on your knees," the youkai growled, gripping her hips with such force that on each slam inwards his claws pricked her skin, drawing little rivulets of blood. He'd have to remember to clean that up afterwards. The hanyou would have a fit for certain.

"I…I can't…Inu…" Kagome nearly sobbed, dropping her head on her forearms. Her whole body was like jello, and he was still going so hard that she could feel his balls slap against her clit. She didn't know what kind of endurance he thought she had, but she was going to be doing good to stand up in the morning!

The youkai grunted, releasing a hand to grasp a fistful of her hair, guiding her up until she was arching against his chest. It shifted the angle and made it more difficult to thrust as deeply, but he was about to blow again anyway.

But he wasn't going alone this time.

She wasn't sure when she liked the idea of hair pulling either, but if Inuyasha was doing it, it was going to be added to her kink list. He gripped her hair tightly, but cradled her head in the process so he wasn't pulling it at the root. It wasn't as painful as she expected it to be, then again she trusted him completely. Kagome could feel the hot breath on her ear as he leaned over her shoulder, moving his other hand from her hip to rest over her soaked curls. His fingers draped over her clit, occasionally rubbing as he thrust up into her and – _oh_.

He'd found that good spot and was hitting it for all it was worth. It was enough to make her say his name in a garbled mess of syllables. That chuckle she heard from behind her was enough for her to know that he knew he'd found a good angle.

Fuck, _every_ angle was a good angle with him! She didn't think he could _do_ a bad angle!

The youkai was grinning as he felt her body begin to reach its peak. The feeling of her walls pulsing and squeezing him was so good that it was a feat to not blow his wad. He had to be mindful of his claws as he reached between her thighs to drape the digits over her.

"You feel so fucking good," he purred, letting his fingers move from side to side and delighting in how she jumped in his embrace. So that little nub was still tender? That was good to know. "Each time I go deep into your pussy I can feel how hot and wet you are for me, Ka-Go-Me. It drives me so fucking wild to feel you squeeze my cock so good. Tell me how much you like it."

"S-so….g-goood," Kagome groaned when he swirled the pad of his index finger around her clit. "So…deep….so th-thick….oh god…Inu-!" It was getting harder to concentrate on Inuyasha's words. She felt so close to the edge that a gust of wind could have made her come. Right that second all she could think about was the slap of their bodies joining and the sounds of pleasure they were drawing out of each other.

The youkai only removed his hand from between her thighs to grasp hers, which had been clutching his thighs. "I want you to feel what I feel," he growled in her ear when she tried to pull her hand away. "You've touched yourself before. I want you to feel it as my cock pushes into you. Can you tell how wet you are, Kagome? Each time my cock fills you, I get to feel that and more. You naughty girl, you _soak_ my cock in your juices. And now, I'm going to make you _flood_."

Kagome should have expected that he would slide his hand underneath hers, rubbing furiously at her clit as she felt him thrust into her. It didn't take much before her head dropped back against his shoulders and she let out another scream of his name. Her walls clenched him tightly as he continued to pump into her, feeling his cum coat her inside and out.

Her body went slack as she came down from the high and Inuyasha laid her gently down onto the bed. She was too tired and too exhausted to care that she was going to wake up in wet spots. It would be worth it.

Just like it was worth it to hear Inuyasha murmur the words "I love you" into her neck as he collapsed on top of her. She hadn't ruined things after all. He still loved her and they had taken a huge leap in their relationship. Some damp spots were nothing compared to that.

The youkai felt his control slipping as he slipped out of Kagome. He was able to lay her on her stomach just before his vision began to darken. This…wasn't good. He needed to tell her. Had to let her know before sleep overtook him. What would come in the morning was indiscernible, but he had to make sure that she knew.

"I love you."

Human, hanyou, or youkai – it didn't matter. He loved her and would continue to love her until the end of time.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find out how to read further over on my tumblr (clearwillow.tumblr.com). Otherwise, hang tight for a week when the next chapter drops!


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